Can I marry my lover who is a non believer?

Yes and No. If you are a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, the best and wisest thing you can do is to not marry your lover as a non believer. But Yes; you can marry him/her, if you can make him a believer by accepting Jesus Christ as personal savior and follow your faith. And No if you fail to achieve it.

Even though it is best to find a partner who is a believer, on the basis of various circumstances and weaknesses, it is quite normal to fall in love with a non believer. In that situation, it is your choice to marry him as a non believer or believer. Many christian believers compromise their faith in order to marry a non believer. Those who marry that person as a non believer are literally surrendering their faith and love for God, for the love of a human. What am saying is to make your lover a believer and then marry him. You may think it is impossible, but it is quite easy with the help of God and there are lot of people who successfully achieved this.

Why is it necessary to marry a believer?

Couples sometimes feel bad if their partner eat without with them. It will not be practical to follow Jesus without the support of your partner. We all know that a married life will not be easy if our partners have disagreement on certain important things such you want children, where to live, etc. To have disagreement in God and prayer is even worse than that. A family that prays together can stay together at the time of challenges and adverse situations and your partner can support you spiritually when you need support. It will also avoid conflict regarding on whose faith the children should brought up with. Even if these things may appear not important when you are in the fire of love, once married and when your first love and passion cools down, these will appear to you as some issues which you can not resolve.

MAKING YOUR PARTNER A BELIEVER

You can make your partner a believer by following few simple things and before that you have understand some basic things which you have to always keep in mind.

Basic Things:

1. Understand that this procedure will not happen within a day or week. It will take from 3 months to 6 months approximately.
2. Understand that you cannot achieve this by imposing or by any means or quarreling or external pressure.
3. You have to pray for your lover everyday that their eyes to be opened and to accept the truth about God and to follow God and His commandments.
4. Believe that nothing is impossible for God and whatever your lover’s religion or god is, or even if he is an atheist, it is not a hard thing for God to touch his life and change his life.

First Phase: Find an opportunity and smoothly tell your lover about Jesus Christ; how much you love God and tell all your major experiences with God. Gradually he will soon develop an interest in God because there is always a tendency in all of us to find interest in the likes of our partners. Once he show any small symptom of interest, tell him the benefits and necessity to develop a personal relationship with God. Then guide him to develop a relationship with God by reading bible, praying and attending church.

Gradually make sure that he is reading a certain number of chapters or pages from bible and pray for a certain period of time. It is very important that he does this everyday. At first he may feel bored or tired, but it is okay to make him read by your love. As his interest grew, gradually increase talking about Godly things and understand and support him in the area where he needs help. Even if he might have started to do these things for you, surely he will develop an interest for himself within a time of 1 to 2 months.

Second Phase: Within a period of 3 months, you can notice tremendous difference in his words and actions as well as changes in behavior and character and by that you can make sure that h is growing spiritually. Understand that when he develop a personal relationship with God, he will also develop an interest to follow your faith and your God. Then you can guide him to involve in other activities at church and gradually take water baptism. After that you will be also able to guide him to receive the baptism of Holy Spirit. Along with these, you can also help them to follow the other commandments of Jesus.

Regarding Marriage: By his words, actions, behavior and character, you can know if he is growing spiritually. Even though it is okay for both of you to get married once he has taken the water baptism, the best thing is to wait until he is baptised with the Holy Spirit. Because once he received the Holy Spirit, it will be a great confirmation for him to realize that all things he believed was true and he will be so thankful for you. This can also give him the power to stand for Jesus Christ even if he has to face any opposition that may arise from his family, relatives or friends and regarding following this new faith or to getting married to you. Also by any chance if he was just pretending and making you a fool all these time, he cannot do the same to receive Holy Spirit. So once he received the baptism of Holy Spirit, you can confirm 100% that he is good. And beyond you can be proud for gaining a soul and surely God's blessing and favor will be there upon your marriage.

What if he is not interested?

If his love is true, he will surely be interested within a certain period of time. In such cases, gradually and slowly take your relationship to a situation in which you tell him that, if you want me, you have to read bible and pray like I guide you. Do not tell that you are going to get me only if you accept my God and my faith because by giving external pressure, we are not going to get the result we want.

Try your best to tell him and explain him that accepting Jesus Christ is the best thing you ever had in your life and you are assure that Jesus Christ is the Lord by various things such all your testimonies, Holy Spirit and the gifts of Spirits. Tell him that more than anything else, what you want is for him to know the truth about God which I know. Make him in situations with questions like, if you are not able to believe the most important truth in my life, how can I expect you to believe me in any other things?

You have to use your wisdom all these time because anything can happen during these situations. Maybe he will ask you to accept his faith and maybe even leave you saying that he don’t need you anymore. Understand that those words are all to make you feel that he is not interested in you with your God. At that time, you should also not give up. Tell him it is absolutely okay with you too because I love my God that much. After few days, if he come back ready to accept the things you said, you guide him to follow your God. In case he doesn’t come back, let him know clearly that, you will wait for 7 more days and warn him that you will say goodbye after that.

What to do if I fail?

Even after you tried your best and you failed, you have to understand the fact that his love is not true love. Remember the words of Ruth(gentile) who truly loved Naomi, Ruth 1:16 "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” If your lover’s love is true it can only produce the same result.

It is your choice weather to marry a person who cannot understand and accept the biggest truth in your life. How is your married life going to be successful if he cannot listen to one and the most important thing in your life. To be honest with you, whoever you are, it will not be hard to get any better partner than this hard hearted person. And finally you can write it down that, if you fail to achieve this before your marriage, never ever imagine that this is going to happen after marriage.

Anyway I have seen many people who have successfully made their partner a believer before marriage and I pray and bless you also to achieve the same.