Full Question:
Is it okay for my husband to look at porn when he knows it bothers me? See, when we first started dating, he was into porn and I didn't care either way so from time to time we would watch it before we would be intimate, but after five years of marriage (and basically no intimacy in our marriage anymore at 28) it really upsets me to find porn in the history on the computer. I've also found it on my i-Touch history. He doesn't just look at pictures but he watched videos and reads erotic stories and it grosses me out. It's not all the time, but it's more often than the time he spends with me. Also, we go to church and I am really trying to live right and I feel like he is holding our marriage back. I want us to be on the same track and I feel like we can't do that if this is what he's thinking about. IDK what to do anymore. Any advice would be great.
Answer:
This is a serious problem and is just one of its side effects among the many side effects of pornography. A father who escape from the duties of a father is not a good father and same in the case of a mother or an elder brother too. And is the same in the case of your husband who are escaping from his duties as a husband some how. He is not fulfilling the commandments of God in the Old Testament or New Testament for a husband and wife.
Lots of people are running behind pornography these days. Last year pornographic reports and its profit is an excellent example for that. It is reported as it generates more than $12 billion in revenue annually only in the U.S.A. In 1997, more than 665 million pornographic videos were sold. On the Internet, there are more than 72,000 pornographic sites. Sexually explicit "900 number" phone calls are a $2.4 billion-a-year industry.
Some of the worst problems of pornography especially by porno videos is that it drive many couples want their spouse to partake in bizarre sexual behavior with them and they like to use sexual toys as stimulants for each other. There are a lots of couples who even watch erotic videos together for sexual arousal each other before they engage in sex. Sex which is used to love each other more intimately is changed to get pleasures each other even by torturing and abuse. They like to be an object of experiment by practicing new wicked things. They don't get any true satisfaction in their life too.
One of the main thing I would like to mention you is that, pornography especially internet porn is fast becoming a major factor in divorce. What I mean is as you have to deal this situation wisely so that problems may not end up in a divorce which is even more worse. First your husband need to trust you, and if he is not, try to make him trust you by being faithful in your every deeds. Pornography is one of the most devastating problems that has ensnared many good people in the sin. And don't try to escape from these problems by seeing its difficulties, because it will also result only in serious problems. By these time situation is in such a way that pornography has became a mistress to your husband and this situation has to be stopped.
There are two ways to solve this problem, one is by human help and other is by the help of a supernatural God. If you are selecting human help, the first thing I have to warn you is that never got to seek the help of a counselor or so without seeking some essential things about peoples opinion, his life background and his dealings. Otherwise it will make a way to destroy your life or your make your husbands situation worse. I mentioned it because there are counselors who deals with situation like, 'what is wrong with it girl?' 'These days every husbands used to watch it and I don't see any faults in that' etc. So before consulting someone make a evaluation by searching details I mentioned yourself and via your your friends and neighbors too.
If you are gonna deal this thing some best ways are, like you should have to be faithful in front of your husband and you should try to change his focus by talking to him, try to make him spend more time some where outside and to love him with each and every of your acts including physical relations so that his focus may change to you. Also there is a chance for he trying to escape from you by depending on pornography due to some of his sexual disabilities. And in these days there are also people who are attracted towards homo-sex and make sure that his desires are not to that. And may be he would leave this if he got some responsibilities like taking care of family by being a father or so. If he feel any dissatisfaction watching it in front of you, try to not him alone.
All the things mentioned above are certain things which you can try hoping that there will be some change in his life. But there is a better way to deal this situation which is by the help of God Jesus Christ. For that first you should have to repent for your sins by believing Jesus Christ is the lord and savior and you should believe Jesus Christ is more than enough for helping you solve this problem in your life. Then you should just pray to him from your very heart to perform a miracle in your husband's life so that he may change from all these bad habits.
I would like to give you some spiritual knowledge regarding why is a man attracting to these things. If we think about a normal case in which a person is attracted to porn is via Satan's attraction. There is an evil power, a work of an evil spirit behind the attraction towards pornography. People who are delivered from this trap testified that there experience like in which an evil is drawing them to do those acts and it also compels them to return again and again. So many people tries to get themselves delivered from pornography, but due to this evil spirit inside they are falling into the pit of sexual immorality which also makes them hopeless.
Jesus is the only one who is able to deliver him. For that you should have to start reading the bible and to start going to some church in which true gospel is preached. Church contains a group of people who serve Jesus now and there may be persons who are delivered by Jesus from the addiction of many type of sins and they will help your husband also to get out from those evil activities. Also try to participate in some crusades or prayer meeting so that some pastor or evangelist may pray for him for his deliverance. Jesus like everyone to lead a free life without sins and so that he will help you in every way if yous seek His help. Ask him without any doubt.
May God Bless you to take right decision with this answer and may He deliver your husband from all these things.
Is it okay for my husband to look at porn when he knows it bothers me? See, when we first started dating, he was into porn and I didn't care either way so from time to time we would watch it before we would be intimate, but after five years of marriage (and basically no intimacy in our marriage anymore at 28) it really upsets me to find porn in the history on the computer. I've also found it on my i-Touch history. He doesn't just look at pictures but he watched videos and reads erotic stories and it grosses me out. It's not all the time, but it's more often than the time he spends with me. Also, we go to church and I am really trying to live right and I feel like he is holding our marriage back. I want us to be on the same track and I feel like we can't do that if this is what he's thinking about. IDK what to do anymore. Any advice would be great.
Answer:
This is a serious problem and is just one of its side effects among the many side effects of pornography. A father who escape from the duties of a father is not a good father and same in the case of a mother or an elder brother too. And is the same in the case of your husband who are escaping from his duties as a husband some how. He is not fulfilling the commandments of God in the Old Testament or New Testament for a husband and wife.
Lots of people are running behind pornography these days. Last year pornographic reports and its profit is an excellent example for that. It is reported as it generates more than $12 billion in revenue annually only in the U.S.A. In 1997, more than 665 million pornographic videos were sold. On the Internet, there are more than 72,000 pornographic sites. Sexually explicit "900 number" phone calls are a $2.4 billion-a-year industry.
Some of the worst problems of pornography especially by porno videos is that it drive many couples want their spouse to partake in bizarre sexual behavior with them and they like to use sexual toys as stimulants for each other. There are a lots of couples who even watch erotic videos together for sexual arousal each other before they engage in sex. Sex which is used to love each other more intimately is changed to get pleasures each other even by torturing and abuse. They like to be an object of experiment by practicing new wicked things. They don't get any true satisfaction in their life too.
One of the main thing I would like to mention you is that, pornography especially internet porn is fast becoming a major factor in divorce. What I mean is as you have to deal this situation wisely so that problems may not end up in a divorce which is even more worse. First your husband need to trust you, and if he is not, try to make him trust you by being faithful in your every deeds. Pornography is one of the most devastating problems that has ensnared many good people in the sin. And don't try to escape from these problems by seeing its difficulties, because it will also result only in serious problems. By these time situation is in such a way that pornography has became a mistress to your husband and this situation has to be stopped.
There are two ways to solve this problem, one is by human help and other is by the help of a supernatural God. If you are selecting human help, the first thing I have to warn you is that never got to seek the help of a counselor or so without seeking some essential things about peoples opinion, his life background and his dealings. Otherwise it will make a way to destroy your life or your make your husbands situation worse. I mentioned it because there are counselors who deals with situation like, 'what is wrong with it girl?' 'These days every husbands used to watch it and I don't see any faults in that' etc. So before consulting someone make a evaluation by searching details I mentioned yourself and via your your friends and neighbors too.
If you are gonna deal this thing some best ways are, like you should have to be faithful in front of your husband and you should try to change his focus by talking to him, try to make him spend more time some where outside and to love him with each and every of your acts including physical relations so that his focus may change to you. Also there is a chance for he trying to escape from you by depending on pornography due to some of his sexual disabilities. And in these days there are also people who are attracted towards homo-sex and make sure that his desires are not to that. And may be he would leave this if he got some responsibilities like taking care of family by being a father or so. If he feel any dissatisfaction watching it in front of you, try to not him alone.
All the things mentioned above are certain things which you can try hoping that there will be some change in his life. But there is a better way to deal this situation which is by the help of God Jesus Christ. For that first you should have to repent for your sins by believing Jesus Christ is the lord and savior and you should believe Jesus Christ is more than enough for helping you solve this problem in your life. Then you should just pray to him from your very heart to perform a miracle in your husband's life so that he may change from all these bad habits.
I would like to give you some spiritual knowledge regarding why is a man attracting to these things. If we think about a normal case in which a person is attracted to porn is via Satan's attraction. There is an evil power, a work of an evil spirit behind the attraction towards pornography. People who are delivered from this trap testified that there experience like in which an evil is drawing them to do those acts and it also compels them to return again and again. So many people tries to get themselves delivered from pornography, but due to this evil spirit inside they are falling into the pit of sexual immorality which also makes them hopeless.
Jesus is the only one who is able to deliver him. For that you should have to start reading the bible and to start going to some church in which true gospel is preached. Church contains a group of people who serve Jesus now and there may be persons who are delivered by Jesus from the addiction of many type of sins and they will help your husband also to get out from those evil activities. Also try to participate in some crusades or prayer meeting so that some pastor or evangelist may pray for him for his deliverance. Jesus like everyone to lead a free life without sins and so that he will help you in every way if yous seek His help. Ask him without any doubt.
May God Bless you to take right decision with this answer and may He deliver your husband from all these things.
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